What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Why do I feel worthless most of the time?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Do you know what she said mum?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

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My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

True - how I loved my mum!

What are some lesser-known facts about Bollywood and the Indian film industry? Are there any insider secrets that only those in the industry would know? How reliable are these claims?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What do you mean son?

Why is that Hag Hillary Clinton so quiet these days? She is the dog that isn't barking

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What! how could you do that?

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“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”